Recovering Perfectionist

I sit here on the verge of midnight.  It's not that I can't sleep.  Well, it might be.  But, it's more or less the fact that I don't do laundry like my mom taught me.  As a result, I'm waiting up on a school night for the washing machine to finish, because I may or may not have ruined a hoodie I just bought my daughter.

I'm a perfectionist.  Well, maybe not with laundry, but with everything else.

I decided to return to working out full strength in 2019 and even joined a fitness challenge.  Not the typical Pinterest-inspired ones that everyone posts on social media, but one led by a personal trainer.

Today was first day back to work after winter break.  I'm exhausted.  Teacher-exhausted, mom-exhausted, every-which-way-exhausted. 

But, I had to get my workout in.  And, then there was laundry to be done and dishes to be washed.  And, it goes on.

This is why I am awake, closing in on midnight, calling on all self-control to not go get a cup of coffee.  Truth.

But, God.

Those two words mean so much, don't they?  Whatever your circumstances, add the words "but God" to the end of it and see how it changes perspectives around.

For the last two years, I've done the "word for the year" thing, praying that God would give me a focus for personal growth each year.  Last year, it was "be still".  This year my word is "simplicity".

I actually fought this word at first.  The idea of "being simple" is sometimes associated with stupidity.  But, every time I would kick it back, I'd receive a confirmation, whether in an ad for a book or a post on social media.

So, I believe God is telling me to be simple.  If you're a too-busy-all-the-time perfectionist like me, maybe you can take this advice too.

1.  Don't overthink things.
2.  Pray
3.  Trust God
4.  Don't be so busy all the time.
5.  You can say no.
6.  Don't stress the small stuff
7.  You don't have to be perfect

There's a story in the Bible that speaks of two women whom Jesus comes to meet.  One woman busies herself with taking care of Jesus, cleaning the house, and so on.  The other woman sits at Jesus' feet.  Which of these did Jesus prefer?   The one who chose to sit with him a while.


"And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41-42


It's simple, but profound, right? Be simple, take time to sit at Jesus' feet.

After looking for more on the idea of simplicity, I stumbled upon these quotes as well:

"Simplicity is the ultimate form of sophistication." ~ Leonardo da Vinci

" Find beauty in simplicity."

"Simplicity is the keynote of all true elegance." ~Coco Chanel

"Out of the clutter, find simplicity.
From discord, find harmony.
In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." ~Albert Einstein

"Be clear on what matters, and get rid of everything else."

"Our life is frittered away by detail.  Simplify.  Simplify." ~Henry David Thoreau

"Simplicity is about greater appreciation for the things that really matter."


I will wait for the laundry to finish to see if I've saved my daughter's hoodie. 

Because I'm a perfectionist.

But, I'm a recovering perfectionist.

Sorry about the laundry, though, Mom.

War paint

I admit that I'm not one to put on a lot of make-up.  Yet, today, as I was getting ready for church and applying what little make-up I wear, a thought occurred to me.

This looks like I'm putting on war paint.

I laughed at the time, but it is indeed true.  Each day, every person puts on ___________  in order to brave the day.  Sometimes it's make-up, literally....but, more times than not, I believe it may be something much deeper.

To the person who is going through depression, it may be a fake smile.

To the person struggling financially, it may be work boots and pushing through feelings of inadequacy.

To the person who feels lonely and alone, it may putting a self-proclamation of "I can do this".

Sometimes, however, life throws out pitches so quickly, that we are sure to strike out.  Pitches that feel like punches to the gut.  In those times, it's important to remember that the game of life we are playing is not ours to play at all.  We try to keep up.  We keep score.  But, I'm not sure that God does.

2 Choronicles 2:17 says that you don't have to fight the battle...you just have stand still and let God take care of it.  Deuteronomy 20:4 says that God will give us the Victory.  Deuteronomy 1:30 says that God will even go before you and fight the battle.

Not only are you victorious....you are given the victory.  I admit it's hard when facing life's difficulties, but God is one of honor, and He is a winner (read the end of THE book).  He's sharing that win with you.  Consider it a "bye".  If a team receives a "bye", they don't have to play or compete.

So, whether you put on that war paint, step into the game, or sit on the bench.  It doesn't matter what choice you make; just remember this:

God's got this.

Trees and other unexpected things

Today is Father's Day.  Instead of attending church, we decided to go on a hike.  Our family is somewhat fit, well, let's call it a work in progress, but we've never done a hike this long.

Spending the day with my husband and kids, I didn't expect to hear from my Heavenly Father, especially on a day when I didn't attend church.  But, I did.

Flowers
Immediately setting out on the trail, I saw two flowers.  One was yellow.  Yellow flowers are my favorite.  Due to my own allergies, I cannot receive flowers.  But, I love looking at them. The second flower was a purple one.  Purple is my favorite color, but it also reminds me of my late Mamaw.  These two things may be silly to read, but the flowers put me a peace.

Yes, that's the picture I took.  It's simple, but it reminds me of grace. No, not my daughter, but of God's grace.

Trees
We were walking in Daniel Boone National Forest.  Along with a Kentucky history lesson on my part (I couldn't help myself), I was simply amazed on how many trees there were.  I literally see trees every single day.  However, God was using this experience to teach me not to take the mundane for granted.  At one point, I came across a bent tree.  The tree was bent, not broken.  It reminded me of my years in Florida.  During hurricanes, trees would blow and bend.  One would think that they would snap in two, but that is not the case.  Because they are deeply rooted.  I was reminded of life.  Life can sometimes feel like it's broken, but sometimes it's just bent.  Your chapter may be closed, but God is not finished writing your story.

Weeds
At one point, there was a break in the shade of trees.  There was one spot that the sun broke through.  In that space, one lone plant bloomed higher than any of his surrounding buddies.   Reaching high in the sky, towards the sun.  Just as we are to reach towards the heavens and to the Son.  God will provide what we need.

Sunlight
Speaking of sunlight, the area we hiked was very shaded.  Thankfully, shaded.  All the praise hands, shaded.  However, it was a long hike.  Many times, my physical body wanted to scream and complain.  When I got to that point, there was a break and we walked in sunlight.  And, for 30 more seconds, I was even more miserable.  So, guess what? I didn't complain.  I realized I was thankful for the shaded walk.  So, whether you're looking for the sun or for some shade, be willing to realize the blessings in front of you.

Peace
I mentioned that we were a work-in-progress.  All humans are.  Every time that I think I'm perfect, I realize that I fall short, immensely.  During the hike, I trailed behind my husband and my kids.  It's not that I couldn't do it, I just know I have to set my own pace.  Years ago, while still "skinny" according to the world's standards, I could not have a completed an 11 mile hike.  So, last in line, I hear my name called.  It sounds strangely like my Uncle Steve, who not only wasn't with us, but lives in another state.  Immediately, I hear my name called again.  This time, it sounds like my Mamaw saying it.  It sounded like her and she used my first and last name.  Most people would find this oddly eerie, or think that I'm losing my marbles.  Yet, I was at peace.  Just walking.  I kept moving.  But, I heard God speak to my heart.  He said this, "I still hear you, and you can still hear me."  I am so thankful that He knows my name.

If I had a mic, I think I'd drop it here.  There have been many things in my life that cause me to question God.  But, not to "question God", but to ask God questions.  And, know what?  I rarely get an answer.  But, today tells me that it's okay that I don't have the answer.  It's okay that I'm a work in progress and not perfect.

God still hears me.  I can still hear him.

God still hears you.  You can still hear him.

Sometimes, we just need the simplest of things--even like those I found in nature today--to remind us.

Stillness

Growing up, I was always the shy one.  In fact, when I answered the phone, I didn't answer at all.  My dad would say, "Say Hello."  One would think that I'm talking about when I was a toddler, just learning to talk.  Nope.  Try, teenager.

Now, I'm known to overshare.  Like my dress?  Thanks, I only paid $8.00 for it.  And, much worse.  I over-share and over-trust.  I've been known to confide in the wrong person, simply because I literally trust everyone.  It's gotten me in to trouble in the past.

At the beginning of the year, God gave me a word for 2018.  Stillness.  It comes from this scripture:

"Be still and know that I am God." ~Psalms 46:10


As I write now, my house is completely quiet.  My two children are reading, as part of a summer challenge I gave them.  They're required to do so many things before they can use technology.

I, too, was reading a devotion.  One chapter of a book from my favorite blogger.  It was powerful stuff.  I kept looking for what to take a picture of or words to share on social media.  It's so good, I need someone else to read it, right?

Then, God hit me.  Well, not literally, of course.  But, each time that I feel that God is talking to me, it is indeed in that still small voice.  Unfortunately for me, I am stubborn and it usually feels like I've been hit with a ton of bricks.

Allow me to share.  This morning, as I was reading my devotion, God told me NOT to share what I was reading.  So, I am sharing, but I am sharing this.  I feel He said to my heart:

This is for you.  You alone.  You don't need to share.  Just receive.

That's it.  Mind blown, right? If you're a woman like me, you find it easier to give than to receive.  Receiving seems selfish.

But, God is telling me, and perhaps He's telling you, to be still.  To receive.  To rest in His presence, and know that everything is going to be okay.

Hills

I went to visit my Mamaw today.  Actually that’s a lie.  I went to visit the place where she’s  buried, even though I know she’s not there.  Actually that’s a lie too.  I went to the bottom of the hill of her gravesite and looked up.

I’m not as brave as I portray.  I have four wheel drive vehicle but was afraid to go up there by myself.  No one else knows where I am right now, which in and of itself is a bit scary if you think about it.  But, there is One who knows.

I look up the hill and I see a cross, literally.  She’s buried behind my old church.  There’s so much I miss about the way things use to be, but mostly I miss her.

I came here because I felt alone.  I was alone, in the physical sense of the word, simply because my husband was hunting and my kids were at grandparents.  But, I’m not alone in the spiritual sense of THE Word.  So, I look toward  the hill where my Mamaw is buried and scripture takes a literal life-giving meaning:

I look to the hills from which comes my help! My help comes from the Lord, maker of heaven and earth!

So, while I may feel lonely at times here on Earth, I know that I am not truly alone.

Life sometimes gives us hills and valleys.  What is important to know is that when we are in the valley, we can look toward the hills.  Hills are promises that He hasn’t forsaken us, that He is still with us in the valley.

Each day, we have a choice - we can dwell in the valley or we can look to the hill, realizing we have hope.

Live in the valley,
Look to the hills.
Choose life.
Choose Jesus-given life,
and realize that you, too, are not alone.

Love you a lifetime

The other day, my husband misheard something I said as, “I’ll love you a little.”  He replied, “I hope you’ll love me a lifetime.”

It reminded me of the children’s book, Love You Forever  by Robert Munsch:

“I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be.” 

Yet, the more I thought about my husband’s sweet words, the more I thought about my Savior.  One dark, sweet day, over 2,000 years ago, Jesus spread His arms out wide and said:

You who have turned your back on me, I’m doing this for you.

You who have been wronged and do wrong in return, I’m doing this for you.

You who are broken, I’m doing this for you.

You who are sick and don’t know where to turn, I’m doing this for you.

You who feel unloved, I’m doing this for you.

You and you period. No matter your circumstances.  I’m doing this for you.  I stretch my arms wide on this cross and sacrifice for you because I’ll love you a lifetime.

One day, Jesus will once again stretch those arms wide and welcome us home.  He will  do so in love and give us a new life, an eternal one, where He will say, I’ll love you a lifetime.

And, how sweet it will be to be loved for a lifetime, eternally, by the One who gave us life.

Losing (and regaining) focus

Ever had one of those days where you feel as if you're in a funk?  Well, I've had one of those days.  In fact, for me, a day has turned into weeks and even months.  And, I'm not just talking about funky, as in, "hey, you're kinda cool".  Nope, funk.... as in "I don't feel like myself".

Here's the thing:  nothing has drastically changed.  So what if I haven't written in a while for this blog? Not a big deal, right?  Well, here IS a big deal... ready for it? I'm about to drop the mic here and not in a good way.

In the same sense that I haven't written in a while, I haven't read in a while either.  Except for church days, I haven't opened  my bible either.  If you're reading this and you're in the same boat, you may want to hear something like "It's okay. Life gets busy. God will understand."

While I am in no way in a place to tell you what God Almighty will and won't understand, I can only speak about myself.  So, here it goes:

I prayed for God to reveal to me why I felt like I was in such a funk, even though nothing in my life had really happened (no big changes, etc.). Here's what I believe to be His answer that I feel compelled to share with you: "Julie, you've lost your focus."

I can count the number of times that I've felt I've heard God speaking to me.  Most of the time, I just feel a gentle guidance, a loving push.  Sometimes, like in this case, it seems to slap me across the face, as a loving father would discipline His children (okay, not literally, but you get the idea).

***

So, I lost my focus.  Regardless if it was only for a few weeks, I took my eye off of the prize. I took my eye off of Jesus.  I let life get in the way and run me, instead of  allowing God to run my life.  Did I lose my salvation? No.  But, I wasn't focused on the One who truly matters.

It reminds me of the church in Ephesus (Revelation 2), who had lost its first love.  The Ephesians lost their zeal for God, therefore falling prey to false teachings.  Do I feel I was in danger of that? Maybe. Maybe not.  But, I feel that God is choosing now for this particular experience to be shared with those who are willing.

As before, I can only speak for myself.  But, if this resonates with you as it does with me, I encourage you to look up, to stand your ground, and not lose your focus.  The Bible also says that it's the little foxes that destroy the vine.  So, do not let everyday business (or insert your situation here) slowly draw you away from Jesus.

Father God,
I come to you in Jesus name, asking forgiveness for my sins.  Forgive me for losing focus on You.  God speak to the one who reads and listens to this now.  Help us both to stay focused on You.  God, guide us and protect us.  Help us be the light, be salt to this Earth.  Help us to focus on You, so we can point others to You.
In Jesus Name I pray,
Amen

Under His Wings

I'm sitting outside on my back porch.  The sun is shining and I hear only the sound of crickets, birds chirping, and frogs croaking.  A springtime breeze brings a small chill to the air.

You wouldn't know it by looking outside now, but moments ago, a severe thunderstorm line came through.  There were strong winds.  During the storm, I watched two birds by our bird feeder, courageous little things who braved the storm.  After a bit, one decided to rest under a nearby tree.  A million things crossed my mind at that moment, of things yet to do, of the laundry still in my hands, as a I simply stood at my window and watched two birds, both un-wavered by the storm.  I stood for what seemed like forever, just watching the birds.

It reminded me of peace.  Yes, in the middle of a literal storm, I was reminded me of peace.  I could see the birds' feathers being shaken by the wind, yet they were undeterred, as if they, too, were at peace.

The book of Psalm is probably my all-time favorite book in the Bible.  To me, it is a beautiful book of written prayers, often written by one who had failed God (yet knew how to pray!).  That same image that I witnessed in the birds of the storm, God used in Psalm 91.

God promises us that we will dwell with the One most high, that we will abide under His shadow (v. 1), just as the bird did under the branches of the tree.

God will be our refuge and our fortress (v. 2) and will deliver us from the fowler and from illness (v.3).  God will cover us with His feathers and we shall be under His wing (v.4).

What a beautiful metaphor of the unfailing peace and protection of God Almighty.  (Side note worthy of sharing: my study bible says that when God refers to Himself as Almighty, as He does is Psalm 91, He is saying that He is our "nurturer and protector"!)

Psalm 91:9 tells us that we are to make God our "habitation", which implies our protected place!

Wow!  The same God who created all the World didn't create our habitat.  He is where we reside, where we are protected, and where we are loved.  Just as we are. Through Christ Jesus.

So, as the old song says, "when the storms of life are raging", stand by Him.  Run to Him.  Allow Him to provide you with that protected place.

Masterpiece

It's been a while since I've posted.  The fact is...the more I read from others (devotions, books, blogs), the more I think, "Girl, you have nothing more to say."

Yet, God is moving me.  My "word" for 2017 has been "move"...which has caused my husband and I to move churches and move forward in ministry, thus founding our ministry, Sixfold Ministries.

Lately, I've received lots of encouragement and compliments.  But, yet, I think, "Who am I?".  Who am I that God would chose to use me in the way that He does?  Who am I that He would leave the wonders of Heaven, be made human, and die for my sin.

Y'all (yes I say y'all!), sin is an ugly thing.  I'm reading a book where the author speaks of her salvation and deliverance from drugs, addictions, and suicidal thoughts.  She speaks of how she saw sin for the first time as sin; yet, in that same moment, saw God for all the glory and holiness that He is.

Again I think....who am I?  I don't have an amazing testimony like that.  I was and always have been a goody-goody and naive person.  I still am in a multitude of ways.  Yet, who am I that He would still die for me and take on my sin.

Here's the thing.  I was a sinner, a sinner saved by His amazing grace.   When I question who I am, I am questioning God and all that He is and has done.  I was created in His image and every time I question who I am or feel uncomfortable receiving a compliment because I feel unworthy, I can feel God's presence.  He speaks to my heart and says, "I've got this, girl".  Because He made this girl.

Christian artist Mandisa says it like this, "He's still working on me. I'm unfinished."

God is indeed an artist.  He created the world and all that is in it.  He created you and I.  As a mature Christian, I've always assumed that creation was finished in Genesis.  But, God is still molding me and making me into His Masterpiece.  And, as a child of God, you too are an unfinished masterpiece!

Isn't that amazing? As I sit at the kitchen table and reflect on this thought, I am completely overwhelmed.  God made us in His image....to show His artistry and for His glory.  So, I'll put on the full armor of God and take what He gives me, step by step.  I'll accept the correction and guidance of His paintbrush, stroke by stroke.  I'm a masterpiece.

You, too, are a masterpiece, completely and utterly unique.  You are designed for great things, to show off the glory of the Creator, the glory of the Masterpiece Artist.

There's a girl

There's a girl who sits all alone. She doesn't talk to anyone.  She feels empty because, in her mind, she thinks the only people that love her are family and that's only because they have to.  That's what her mind tells her.

There's a girl, older now.  She doesn't see herself as pretty.  She's waiting to hear her worth, as defined by a boy.  But, it doesn't happen. Shyness and values keep her from what she deems as happiness. Self-doubt creeps in.

There's a girl.  She thinks she's better than most, a goody-goody, holier than thou attitude.  But, she's not winning friends; she's not even winning souls for Christ. Drowning in a delusion of religion, not relationships.

There's a girl.  That same fear of loneliness creeps. Loneliness is a creeper, a stealer of joy.  All her friends are finding love. Why isn't she?

What if I told you that all of these girls were me, at one point in my life? It's true.

What's even worse than this brutal heart-wrenching drive down past emotions is that I found myself with a similar thought this week.  A simple but joy-stealing thought: I am not good enough.  I found myself comparing who I am to who other people are.

That's a dangerous game to play.  One of my husband's favorite songs is "Remind me Who I am".  Yes, there's a girl.  But, that girl grew up. She became a woman.  This woman knows that there is a God.

There is a God who loves us, unconditionally.  Not because He has to, but because He chose us.  He chose me. He chose you.

There is a God who calls us beautiful. And chosen. And His.

There is a God who values a relationship with Him over anything our religion presses into us.

So, when "that girl" looks back at you in the mirror with disgust, doubt, and criticism, hold you head high.  Look at her and tell her, "Yes, I see you. But, I also know that there is a God.  And, He loves me... just as I am. I am beautiful. I am chosen. I am enough. I am His."

Stop the comparison game

Let's stop the comparison game.

I am a fitness instructor.  I have a confession to make.  I never played a team, or individual for that matter, sport.  But, guess what?  I'm competitive.  I love to win.  Family game night?  I don't let my children or husband win.  Though, most times you'll still find me in third or fourth place.

I believe that it's human nature to want to succeed in games, and in life in general.  I know I get it honestly: "If the score doesn't matter, why do they keep score?"   Yes, words of wisdom from my dad.

But, when it comes to life, I say that we put the scoreboard down and stop keep points.  Many times in life we compare ourselves to someone we deem successful.

If only my house looked like theirs...

If only my body looked like hers (his)...

If only I had the personality and courage to do that...

That list could go on.  Stop the comparison game.  "Comparison is the thief of joy" -Teddy Roosevelt. Steven Furtick, Pastor of Elevation Church, says it like this, "The reason why we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else's highlight reel."

Allow that to set in.  Have you ever felt jealous over that perfect life portrayed on social media?  Maybe a celebrity or even a friend?  Well, here's the thing: we are only seeing what he/she wants us to see!  I, for one, am guilty of taking multiple photos before I find one I want to share online.

There's a popular quote that says, "A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms."  Have you ever truly stopped to look at the beauty of a flower?  Each is unique.  A flower doesn't look at the flower next to it to decide if it's beautiful, it already knows.

And, you were created to be just as beautiful and unique as that flower.  Psalm 139:14 says that you are "fearfully and wonderfully made".  Period.  Not fearfully and wonderfully made once you have that car they drive.  Not fearfully and wonderfully made once you reach that desired weight or wear that certain size.  Fearfully and wonderfully made.  Period. Done. Finished.  Fearfully and wonderfully made by a God who designed the universe.  A God who makes no mistakes in His creation.  Yes, you, dear friend, were created fearfully and wonderfully made to be just who you are.

So, the next time you look at someone's social media page, remember who God says you are.
The next time you look at that individual in the mirror, give her (him) some grace.  Be kind to her.  She's beautiful.  Allow her to bloom where she's planted.

Be still

There's a lady at my church that gives the same testimony almost every Bible study.  Here's her testimony:

I am blessed.
I have a beautiful life.
I've met many beautiful people.

That's it.  There's no elaborate testimony.  I don't know her. I don't know her backstory, what God's specifically done in her life, or how she's an overcomer through Christ Jesus.  Although, I am sure all those things are true.

For this special lady, who is in her eighties, testimony is simple: I am blessed.

It got me thinking.  My last blog post reached 400+ views.  It was the largest audience so far.  I didn't write for a bit afterward because I thought that I couldn't beat that, that I had nothing wise to say that hadn't been already said in multiple blogs, articles, and books already.

Here's the thing.  I don't have to.  I don't have to compare myself to my past self.  You don't have to compare yourself to your past self.  This precious lady didn't testify of her past.  She simply told of what she was experiencing with God in the present: I am blessed.  I have a beautiful life. I've met many beautiful people.

That's it.  That's enough.  Revelation 22:18 says that we can't add anything to the Word of God anyway.  What is done through Christ is more than enough.

I don't have to top myself.  I don't have to live in yesterday's blessing.

Today, God is enough.
Today, I will be still and know that He is God (Psalm 46:10).
Today, I am blessed.
Today, I have a beautiful life.
Today, I can say that I've met many beautiful people.

The same thing applies to your life too, regardless of your backstory.  Don't compare your today to your yesterday.  Don't compare your today to anyone else's today.  I once thought that testimony had to come from heartache and disaster.  That's not true.  Whether you've had the best life or struggled to understand God's love because of what He allowed in your life, what was done on the cross is enough for you.  Jesus is enough.  God is enough.  Today.

Today, you are blessed.
Today, you have a beautiful life...a life given through Christ Jesus.
Today, you have met many beautiful people. Yes, even those people who have hurt you, try your patience, and you think God, why?

Today, be still and know that He is God.

Be my guest

 I'm going to see the remake of Disney's Beauty and the Beast today.  The original is my all-time favorite Disney movie, so I've been looking forward to this day.

I've been told not to not see it.

I've been told to boycott Disney because of a hidden agenda.

I don't have to mention what that agenda is, because we already know.

Here's my understanding of what I need to do.  I'm not suppose to take my family to see this movie so that my children won't realize a particular sin, and won't see a particular sin as common.

Don't get me wrong. I've had convictions of multiple television shows for multiple sins, and I've stopped watching them.  Sin is common!  It's been like that since the fall of Man.  We all seem to think that things are worse now, but the Bible says that there's nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9).  It further says, "what has been will be again, what has been done will be done again".y

Don't get me wrong.  I shelter my children.  It's just a parent thing.  I do realize that my children may be naive in some areas.  That's okay.  You heard that right!  It's okay if I let some things go over my children's head.  It's okay if I don't explain sin in detail.

That's the way I was taught.  Granted I was considered a "good girl", a "goody-goody" and I was (and still am) naive, but I rarely remember my parents sitting down with me to give me a list of what not to do.  "Don't do that." "Don't wear that." "Don't go there."  Sin wasn't explained to me.  Here's what was.

Jesus, yes, that life-giving savior Jesus.  My parents didn't have to introduce sin to me, that had already happened when I was born.  Psalm 51:5 says, "I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me". My parents introduced me to Christ.  I was raised in church and introduced to Jesus, as a person and a Savior.  Through His convictions, I knew right from wrong.  My parents were not there to slap my hand when I erred.  They were there for all my life milestones, including many spiritual experiences with our Heavenly Father and His sweet spirit.

I was told by relative that I was only a Christian because that was the way we were raised.  No, I'm a Christian because I've had experiences with God!

 I'm told to boycott one movie because of one sin.  Be our guest.  Be my guest.

I'm not going to do that.  I spent years being the judgmental Christian, and it didn't do me any favors. I didn't gain anything from it; I lost friends.  More importantly, I didn't win anyone for Christ.

Luke 6 speaks of taking care of our own sins, not our neighbors.  Interestingly enough, right before that (same chapter), it speaks of not judging and loving our enemies.  Love everyone, not just those who love you.

So, that's what I'm doing.  You see I'm a sinner, and to quote a song we do in REFIT®, "I love me".
We are all sinners.  I'm not going to focus on love the person, hate the sin.  I don't have to say that I hate your sin because you already know what I believe (at least I hope that people do, based on my actions). I don't have to say that I hate your sin, because I'm over here trying to take care of my own sin.  I'm just going to love sinners.  I'm just going to love people. Period.

Oh, and I'm going to see Beauty and the Beast....with my children....and my parents.

Remembering March 2nd

For teachers everywhere, March 2nd is a celebration.  It's the birthday of Dr. Seuss and we celebrate with books and activities celebrating the author that encouraged so many to love reading.

However, for my newfound hometown (it's my husband's hometown and birthplace), it is a day of mournfulness, a day that many will never forget.  It is the anniversary of a devastating tornado that according to news that day "wiped us off the map". I don't even want to call it an anniversary, because to me, anniversaries should be celebrated.

So, it's okay to remember.  But, it's also okay to let the past stay in the past.  For those mourning today, you don't have to let what happened five years ago claim your victory today.

You see, although I wasn't in the path of the storm, I remember too.

I remember hearing that town is destroyed, that people are stuck under buildings (part of that wasn't true).

I remember not seeing or knowing where my mother in law was for hours.

I remember my husband, a volunteer firefighter, going out in the middle of the warning, once he heard the news.  He knew we were safe and had to help others.

I remember seeing my husband's boss in the middle of the night that night, with a cut-up face because he had been helping clear town so emergency vehicles could get through.  I remember the look in his face, one of hopeless, as he talked of the destruction.

I remember crying and being upset over people who complained of the mundane, when others had lost so much.

I remember building our house sooner than we had originally planned, because we had a new perspective on things.

I remember this became our anthem.

But, five years later, these are not the things I focus on.  You see, the town rebuilt and is stronger now more than ever.  Buildings were rebuilt.  But, the bible speaks more about  us--our bodies, souls, and spirits--more than it does about buildings.  1 Corinthians 6:19-20 talks about our bodies being our temples, where God resides.  Let's work on rebuilding that.  Here's a few things from the Bible that can help us with rebuilding and up-keeping our temple:

We are built on the foundation of  Jesus Christ.  He, himself, is our cornerstone.  We are built together so that God may indwell in us. (Ephesians 2:19-22)  HE IS OUR FOUNDATION!

When we hear His word and listen to it, it is like building our house on a rock.  He is the rock. (Matthew 7:22-27).

We find further evidence of our foundation in song lyrics:

"on Christ the Solid Rock, I stand.  All other ground is sinking sand."  ("My Home is Built on Nothing Less", Edward Mote)

I go to the Rock

Where do I go when there's nobody else to turn to?

Who do I talk to when nobody wants to listen?

Who do I lean on when there's no foundation stable?

I go to the Rock, I know He's able, I go to the Rock

I go to the Rock of my salvation

I go to the stone that the builders rejected

I run to the mountain and the mountain stands by me

When the Earth all around me is sinking sand

On Christ, the solid rock I stand

When I need a shelter, when I need a friend,

I go to the Rock

Where do I go when the storms of life are threatening?

Who do I turn to when those winds of sorrow blow?

Is there a refuge in the time of tribulation?

I go to the Rock, I know He's able, I go to the Rock

So, as we remember March 2nd, let's turn our focus to our Cornerstone.  I propose a new anthem:

Do you not know the Cornerstone, Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord?  It's simple. You can talk to God just like you would talk to anyone.  Pray this prayer of salvation, if you feel led to do so.

Father God,

Thank you for sending your Son to die on a cross for my sins.  I know that I am a sinner and have done things wrong.  I know that I can never undo things or be worthy on my own.  But, I know that Jesus died for me, that is blood can wash away my sins.  I ask Jesus to live inside my heart today.  I accept Him as my Lord and Savior. I promise to do my best to live for Him each and every day.  I thank you for it! I praise you for it!

In Jesus Name I pray,

Amen

Did you just pray that prayer?  Did something resonate with you in this message today? Would you like to share your memories of March 2nd?  We would love to hear from  you in the comments below!

When life gives you lemons

Ever heard that saying, "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade"?  Or better, yet, my favorite one, "when life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand chocolate".  Yep, I will always say yes to chocolate.

There I was, four days after a doctor's appointment, hearing the words, "Yes, she tested positive for flu."  I wasn't surprised.  I was, in fact, the one who requested the test.  Seeing a loved one sick, though, does feel like receiving lemons when you want chocolate.

Social media was full of proclamations of sickness.  It was that "time of year", after all.  I wanted to post about daughter being added to the list of those who succumbed to the virus.  Look at me, my child is sick too.  I mean others were posting and requesting prayer, so it's okay.  Right?  Before you hound me about that, I love that we can turn to others via social media for prayer....in fact, my husband and I have founded a ministry that connecting in prayer through social media is a vital part of.

However, in this case, once again, I felt God leading me to another outlet.  If I just posted about my daughter having flu on social media, who would it benefit?  First of all, me--I would receive prayer and condolences.  Secondly, her--because she too would receive prayer.  Both of which are good, in and of themselves.  But, the one reading my post? Would he or she benefit? No.

So, I came to this blog.  You see, we as Christians are called to something higher.  People need to hear more about our God, than our problems.  Yes, my daughter has the flu.  But, my God is bigger.

When life gives you lemons, don't throw them back.  There's someone watching you who would gladly take your lemons.  There's someone fighting cancer when you're complaining of the flu. There's a barren person who would gladly take the child that you say takes too much of your "me time".  There's someone who would gladly walk in your shoes, imperfections and all.

So, here comes the heavy part.  You only thought it was getting deep before.  What about those lemons that are heavy to carry?  The loved ones that don't get healed?  The prayers that don't get answered?

Yes, I've had those too. I've watched my grandmother NOT get healed from cancer.  I've NOT gotten the job that I thought I wanted.  But, as a Christian, I need others to know that God is still great.  He is still on the throne.  He is still almighty, even when those lemons start to make life taste sour.

Often we hear, God will not give you more than you can handle.  This isn't true at all.  I believe this misunderstanding comes from 1 Corinthians 10:13, "...God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that you are able, but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that you may be able to bear it" (KJV).  I think it's saying that God will help you.  He needs to be the One you turn to when things become more than you can handle.  The NIV version says that "He will provide a way out so that you can endure it."  Endure.  This means that you'll have to go through it, but you will get through it.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)

That said His burden, not ours.  So, when life gives you lemons, cherish them, but don't hold on to them.  Give them to Jesus.

When God Says Wait

The other day, on the way home from work, I heard a familiar praise and worship song.  "Strength will rise as we wait up on the Lord".  I thought to myself, God, I want strength in You.  I felt the Lord speak to my heart, "Julie, that's not the most important word there.  The most important word there is wait."  At that point, I felt like Jacob did when he wrestled with the Lord.  You see God answers us in three ways: (1) yes (2) no and (3) wait.  That third one is definitely the hardest to hear.

The bible speaks time and time again about waiting on God.  In fact, the word, "wait" is mentioned over 100 times in the Bible.  Waiting isn't easy.  If you're like me, it's hard to sit still.  I want things done, and done yesterday.  Lately, God has been holding me back, telling me to wait, to stay in His presences and learn.  So, what happens when you wait?

When you wait, you are strengthened. Isaiah 40:31
When you wait, you shall run and not be weary. Isaiah 40:31
When you wait, you shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31
When you wait, your heart will be strengthened. Psalm 27:14
When you wait, God will be your help and your shield. Psalm 33:20
When you wait, you shall inherit the Earth. Psalm 37:9
When you wait, you will find that your hope is in Him. Psalm 39:7
When you wait, He will be your defense. Psalm 59:9
When you wait, He will hear your cry. Psalm 40:1
When you wait, He will save you. Proverbs 20:22
When you wait, you will be blessed. Isaiah 30:18
When you wait, He will have mercy on you. Isaiah 30:18
When you wait, He is good to you. Lamentations 3:25
When you wait, He will hear you. Micah 7:7



Even though I'm waiting, I'm asking God to lead me in His Truth and teach me, for HE is the God of my salvation and in Him, I will wait all day (Psalm 25:5)  So, the next time that God tells me to wait, I will.  I might want to moan and groan before Him.  I might want to wrestle with Him.  But, I want all that He has for me.  So, when He answers with wait.  I will wait.  I will wait all day.

It's okay to rest.

"Run it out!"
"Clap it out!"

These are things I hear myself yelling when I teach REFIT®, especially after a very high intensity part.  Yet, that whole "live what I preach" is hard.

This past week, I had a fantastic time that was spent solely for ME.  I don't do that often, because I much prefer serving others and taking care of things.  Well, this past weekend, I had a blast attending a REFIT® function out of town, spending the entire day with friends, then a Super Bowl get together with family.  It.  Was. Fun.

And then Monday came.  You got it.  Everyone's favorite day of the week, right?  Monday hit me with sickness.  My body was screaming at me to rest.  Even one of my mentors (I don't think she even knows I consider her a mentor) told me to show down and rest.  I took the day off work.

I listened to my mentor, right? Nope.  Not this overachiever.  From my sick-bed, I did work for school, folded laundry, and spent the day marketing and making plans for the future of REFIT with Julie.

Is that bad?  I'd like to say no because I felt accomplished.  But, I also felt drained.  On a day that I was suppose to feel refreshed and rested, I felt drained!  Insert sigh here.  Insert that feeling of "Oh Julie, do you ever listen?"

Well guess what?  It's okay to rest.  There I said it.  I, personally, hope I'm listening to myself.

In the bible, Luke tells of a time when Jesus went to visit the home of two sisters, Mary and Martha.  Martha was busy being a host, cleaning house, cooking, waiting on Jesus.  Mary simply sat at the feet of Jesus and listened.  I mean, it was Jesus after all, right?  Who was in the right here?  You know it...it was Mary.

So, in our lives and even in our fitness journeys, it is okay to rest.  I might yell, "Run it out".  You might "rest and repeat" or "walk it out".  All are okay and perfectly healthy in taking care of our physical bodies.

So, I challenge you.  I challenge myself.  When we want to push our bodies to the limits, when we want that high intensity workout, I challenge us to remember this: rest is good too.

I am nothing

I lie here tonight humbled by the fact that I am nothing.  You may think that this is some sort of pity party.  You don't want to read on, right? Pity, party of one... um, no thank you.  But, I dare you to read on to find that it's not pity, but rather an all-consuming humbling knowledge that I am nothing without the One who created me.

No, I'm not talking about my parents.  I was created in the image of God.  I read recently that the same God who made the mountains, the lakes, the world, looked down on Earth and decided it needed one of me too... that it needed one of you too!

Wow! It takes your breath away, doesn't it? The Master of the Universe (no, it's not He-man) looked at the universe and chose me!  He chose you too!

In fact, one of the most quoted scriptures says that "God so loved the world that He sent His Son" (John 3:16).  So, He created us. Then, He saw we needed grace and needed saving. So, He sent His son for us.... to die for us so that we can live for Him.

Are you still reading?  That's not a pity party at all!  It's a realization of "who am I?"  Who am I that He would die for me? Who am I that He would  bear my sins?  My crazy self-centered sins!

Often, I hear myself telling fitness class participants that they are enough.  When in fact, I'm not sure that's true.  You see, we aren't enough on our own. We need people in our lives saying 'I love you'. We need friends who say, 'You've got this!'  But, most importantly, we need God saying "you're mine", "choose Me", "love Me", "let Me hold you under My wing".

I also hear myself say "you're worth it".  But, we aren't. At least not on our own.  We are only worth it when Christ makes us worthy and covers us with His blood, His sacrifice, His atonement

So, I admit that I am nothing.  I don't want to waste one more second thinking I can do it alone, that I can live, work, love, (insert your verb here) without God, His Son, and His Spirit.

Let me be one

I had been asked when I would do another blog post.  I don't have a big following, but if I impact just one, it will be worth it.  In Luke, Jesus talks about leaving 99 to go after one.

 “If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them wanders away, what will he do? Won’t he leave the ninety-nine others on the hills and go out to search for the one that is lost?  And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he will rejoice over it more than over the ninety-nine that didn’t wander away!  In the same way, it is not my heavenly Father’s will that even one of these little ones should perish.Matthew: 18:12-14 (NLT)

So, every one matters. Everyone matters.

Why don't you read that again?

Every one matters.
Everyone matters.

The reason for my delayed post is simply this: it seems that we-society as a whole-have forgotten this simple concept.  Just as the shepherd of a flock of 100 would go after one missing sheep, every one of us matters.  Just as Jesus would have died on the cross for just you (or I), every one matters.

Why can't we see this?  It seems that we are quick to bring accusations against each other.  But, I don't believe that we should fight fire with fire.  You know what fire brings? More fire.

Instead, when fire is brought to us and when conflict slaps us in the face, why can we not turn it over to that One who matters most?  If you're anything like me, you might be quick to accept hurt.  You might be quick to want to act out negatively when hurt.  It's only human nature, right?

Well, I believe we shouldn't fight fire with fire.  The expression fire with fire means that we are treating people the same way that we are treated.  Really? You were disgraced and met with hatred, so that's what you'll return instead?  Stop being a mirror of hatred.  Don't be a mirror at all.  A mirror reflects the same thing that it's shown.  Instead, be transparent.  It's okay to let stuff go through you, because that means that it goes out of you.  It's okay to be transparent because, hopefully, they might see Christ through you.


I believe that we should fight human nature with God's grace.  I don't want to be the one that when the day is done and the sheep are counted, I'm still lost.  I also don't want to be a vicious, vindictive sheep that is causing others to stray.  I've blogged before about the effect that people have on other people (the ripple effect).  I want my ripple to be positive.  I want my ripple to be Christ-like.

The next time that I don't see eye to eye with someone, or I am met with distaste, disgrace, or conflict.  I will accept it transparently, whether it is true or not (that last part is hard to swallow, isn't it).  Let me be one that faces life's obstacles with a transparent and open heart, in hopes that those that matter (and that's every one) will be able to see love and see Him.

Let me be one.

Move

In the REFIT® community, many are encouraging one another to choose one word and stick with it for the year. While it may seem like simply a resolution, it is not.  The Bible says that your words have power to speak life or speak death.

My word for 2017 is "move".  I don't want to become lukewarm, complacent, or plateau.  Not in my fitness journey, not spiritually, not in any area of my life.  As a Christian, I believe that life is important and valued.  Every moment matters.  That moment that you are doing household chores? It matters.  Even that.

You see the God that made you, the God that knows every hair on your head (even the ones lost).  He created you for purpose!  Your purpose, above all else, is glorify the Father in Heaven.

I, for one, do not wish to waist one of those moments not moving toward the mark.  I want to be like Isaiah when he said "Here I am, send me".

So, I am going to keep on moving. I'm going to keep pressing towards Jesus.  One definition of move is to "shift one's ground".  When the ground is shifting, it's often human nature to hold on, to stay put.  But, that's not what God has called us to, nor what we were created for.  We were created for movement.  We were created with purpose, and to have a purpose.

As a REFIT® fitness instructor, I've come to realize just how much our bodies can move.  But, God isn't just calling us to move physically, although taking care of ourselves is important.  God wants ALL OF US.  He wants us moving spiritually and emotionally.  He is calling us to make an impact on a world that so desperately needs Him.

So, I would encourage you to move.  

Move physically:  Get fit.  Start eating healthier. Exercise.  Our bodies are dwelling places of God's spirit and he desires us to keep his temple holy and clean.

Move emotionally.  Maybe there are things you need to say to someone you love.  Maybe there are relationships you need to begin or end.

Move spiritually.  God is calling you to worship.  He's calling you to be His.

I've found that I can either move myself, or someone will move me.  The Bible says that everything that has breath praises the Lord.  If not, a rock will cry out in their place.  

So, how about it friend? It may take courage.  It may be painful but MOVE.