There's a girl

There's a girl who sits all alone. She doesn't talk to anyone.  She feels empty because, in her mind, she thinks the only people that love her are family and that's only because they have to.  That's what her mind tells her.

There's a girl, older now.  She doesn't see herself as pretty.  She's waiting to hear her worth, as defined by a boy.  But, it doesn't happen. Shyness and values keep her from what she deems as happiness. Self-doubt creeps in.

There's a girl.  She thinks she's better than most, a goody-goody, holier than thou attitude.  But, she's not winning friends; she's not even winning souls for Christ. Drowning in a delusion of religion, not relationships.

There's a girl.  That same fear of loneliness creeps. Loneliness is a creeper, a stealer of joy.  All her friends are finding love. Why isn't she?

What if I told you that all of these girls were me, at one point in my life? It's true.

What's even worse than this brutal heart-wrenching drive down past emotions is that I found myself with a similar thought this week.  A simple but joy-stealing thought: I am not good enough.  I found myself comparing who I am to who other people are.

That's a dangerous game to play.  One of my husband's favorite songs is "Remind me Who I am".  Yes, there's a girl.  But, that girl grew up. She became a woman.  This woman knows that there is a God.

There is a God who loves us, unconditionally.  Not because He has to, but because He chose us.  He chose me. He chose you.

There is a God who calls us beautiful. And chosen. And His.

There is a God who values a relationship with Him over anything our religion presses into us.

So, when "that girl" looks back at you in the mirror with disgust, doubt, and criticism, hold you head high.  Look at her and tell her, "Yes, I see you. But, I also know that there is a God.  And, He loves me... just as I am. I am beautiful. I am chosen. I am enough. I am His."

Stop the comparison game

Let's stop the comparison game.

I am a fitness instructor.  I have a confession to make.  I never played a team, or individual for that matter, sport.  But, guess what?  I'm competitive.  I love to win.  Family game night?  I don't let my children or husband win.  Though, most times you'll still find me in third or fourth place.

I believe that it's human nature to want to succeed in games, and in life in general.  I know I get it honestly: "If the score doesn't matter, why do they keep score?"   Yes, words of wisdom from my dad.

But, when it comes to life, I say that we put the scoreboard down and stop keep points.  Many times in life we compare ourselves to someone we deem successful.

If only my house looked like theirs...

If only my body looked like hers (his)...

If only I had the personality and courage to do that...

That list could go on.  Stop the comparison game.  "Comparison is the thief of joy" -Teddy Roosevelt. Steven Furtick, Pastor of Elevation Church, says it like this, "The reason why we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else's highlight reel."

Allow that to set in.  Have you ever felt jealous over that perfect life portrayed on social media?  Maybe a celebrity or even a friend?  Well, here's the thing: we are only seeing what he/she wants us to see!  I, for one, am guilty of taking multiple photos before I find one I want to share online.

There's a popular quote that says, "A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms."  Have you ever truly stopped to look at the beauty of a flower?  Each is unique.  A flower doesn't look at the flower next to it to decide if it's beautiful, it already knows.

And, you were created to be just as beautiful and unique as that flower.  Psalm 139:14 says that you are "fearfully and wonderfully made".  Period.  Not fearfully and wonderfully made once you have that car they drive.  Not fearfully and wonderfully made once you reach that desired weight or wear that certain size.  Fearfully and wonderfully made.  Period. Done. Finished.  Fearfully and wonderfully made by a God who designed the universe.  A God who makes no mistakes in His creation.  Yes, you, dear friend, were created fearfully and wonderfully made to be just who you are.

So, the next time you look at someone's social media page, remember who God says you are.
The next time you look at that individual in the mirror, give her (him) some grace.  Be kind to her.  She's beautiful.  Allow her to bloom where she's planted.